Thoughts in a difficult time.

 I was bringing my kids to a summer camp on Wednesday morning when my wife messaged about the volume of emergency vehicles driving below her Minneapolis office. That was the first indication that there was something terribly wrong. Fortunately, the kids were out of the car when she followed up about word of an active shooter at a school in South Minneapolis.

I spent the next two hours at a Dunn Brothers table refreshing the Star Tribune live updates for news, sad for the Annunciation community, and thankful that it wasn't worse than it was. It struck close to home for a variety of reasons. As I said, I have school age children, I live in Minnesota and in fact drove by the church just on Monday, and I went to a K-8 Catholic school that had mass on Wednesday mornings. Eventually, I went to a Catholic high school as well, and through those old connections, have a loose connection with at least one of the victims.

It's been a tough time for anyone with a heart, here or anywhere, and it's enflamed passions, as the death of children should. It's long past time that we do something. After the call for thoughts and prayers, the most impotent turn of phrase is that we need to do something. Do what, exactly? If 30 years of shootings, followed by 30 years of pleas to do something have yielded nothing, then maybe it is time to reflect and do something on ourselves.

Mass shootings exploded across the country when an assault weapons ban was repealed, allowing more automatic weapons in the streets and in the hands of anyone with the wherewithal to get them. Naturally, it seems fairly obvious that an assault weapons ban is the easy answer, but if it hasn't been brought back yet, I am not hopeful for the future. 

Mental health is an obvious factor in these incidents. Those who have lobbied to keep the assault weapons ban in place have also decried the poor state of mental health, but again, this is an area that we as a country are backsliding. We are losing access to traditional health care, I'm not confident resources for mental health are coming either.

Passions are high, and blame is never far behind. Maybe that's where we, you and I, can make a difference. We decry racism, xenophobia, misogyny, homophobia, as well we should, and are still susceptible to bundling whole groups into stereotypes. Villainizing entire group that are held dear by a lot of people - religions, political parties, law enforcement - especially when those that start to conflate with personal identity.

When we villainize groups, it's easier for them to villainize right back. The spiral continues, and hate grows, in both directions. Too often with the innocent falling as victims. So how do we change? My ask is this: Instead of looking at the worst in everyone who disagrees with us, look for the best. When we insult people who believe they are in the right, it eliminates any opportunity to communicate our beliefs to receptive ears. Find common ground.

The various phobias are less pernicious when the various groups have a chance to work and live together. There are fewer people out there to target us if we can welcome anyone. There are always going to be those who lead with hate or fear, always going to be those who see any hierarchy and want to corrupt it, but with those headwinds, we don't need to keep making enemies of one another. 

Thoughts, prayers and begging politicians to do something hasn't worked. Let's do what we can, even if it might not feel like much. Lead with kindness and openness, in a way that hasn't felt natural in 30 years, at least .